Please, Don't Mind What I'm Trying To Say Because I'm, I'm Being Honest

Emily & yoga today.

Emily makes me think and yoga give me too much time to think about too much.

She says I have to use “I statements” and so I was thinking about that in yoga.

And I came up with way to much, in no order.

But here’s what some of it was.

I’m a mess.

I’m totally scatterbrained.

I can’t remember things.

If something happens I’ll have to think about it for a long time before addressing it.

I’ll worry about it indefinitely.

I’ll think “what if…” a lot, and that makes me worry even more.

If something happens and it’s my fault, I’ll feel absolutely terrible about it.

If something happens that’s not really my fault, I’ll find a way to look at it so that it is.

That’s a bad habit, like biting my nails, but I keep doing it.

I know it’s bad, and that people might take advantage of it, but I trust people too much.

I only really, really trust about 5 or 6 people.

I’d only tell anything to about 3 of them.

I only trust one of them more than anything.

I cry far too much.

I don’t like crying in front of people, at all.

I have cried in front of people that I wouldn’t have chosen to cry in front of.

There are 2 people I’d cry in front of anytime.

Sometimes I cry over things that people think are stupid.

I cry when I watch Rent.

But I don’t think that’s a stupid reason, no matter what anyone else says.

I hold things in.

But I’ll be honest with almost anyone, as long as they me to be.

It’s not that I lie to people.

It’s just if I don’t feel like taking about something, or I can’t talk about it I’ll brush it off.

But if someone asks me to be honest, I will be.

I don’t know how to say things some of the time.

I won’t know how to put what I’m feeling into words.

And sometimes I can’t, and that makes me really frustrated.

Especially when it makes someone else think that I don’t want to tell them.

Then I just feel bad, because of course that’s not true.

Hugs always make me feel better.

Hugs are best if the person you’re hugging is about the same size as you.

As in height, and they can’t be too thin or too heavy.

I like hugging tall people though, second best.

I don’t like being alone anymore.

I used to, but I like being with people better now.

That makes me feel incredibly silly and insecure and dependent.

I hatehatehate feeling that way.

But I do.

So I can’t stand being alone.

I feel better if I’m with someone who makes me happy.

I love these people.

Someone who, when I’m with them, it seems like everything bad goes away.

The littlest and silliest things make me happy.

Pinkie Pie?

Waffles?

Mercy Spice and Christian Holiano?

Popsicles? Especially raspberry?

They seem really silly, and people laugh.

(And call me a second grader.) =]

But these things make me smile, like a clever verse from one of my favorite songs.

I live off music.

Songs help me get through anything bad that happens.

I can have one line from one song stuck in my head that will repeat over and over, or a whole song that I’ve heard so many times it’s memorized, but either way, having something stuck in my head makes me feel stronger.

CDs are amazing.

Performances can be either fabulous or terrible.

They don’t sound the same as CDs.

Hearing something live is the absolute best though, because you can feel the bass from the song, and it’s so loud.

It goes right through you.

It seems like too much at first, but it’s really incredible.

I’m not sure how to finish this off, really, because this all seems so…unlike me.

But I was being totally honest through out the whole thing.

So, please, don’t mind what I’m trying to say, because I’m, I’m being honest.

Cartel-Honestly

Last Day of Classes

We did absolutely nothing at all today.
Homeroom- Everyone was passing around yearbooks, because we just got them yesterday. We also had soda. Yum.
Spanish- Um. Let's just go with Marcy Spice and Christian Holiano are amazing. No lie right there. All true.
Computer- Nothing. Abbey and I donated rice, Raquizzle and Laura finished religion stuff, Amy and Lizzie came up with a plan, Edy looked at the weather and looked up the Johnson Brothers and Emma....Emma googled Chase Crawford. We were very productive.
Science- We watched a little bit of Ice Age, but then I decided to go see the other classes Spanish plays. They were pretty rad. Diondra got tattoos, Kelly loves cute boys, Dylan stole tape, Macy took people to the bathroom. Dylan and Ashley wore pretty dresses, Alyssa was Hannah Montana, and um...how could I forget?? Ellie was an emo kid. She wore her hair down!! Then Senora goes and disses our class three times. Hannah and I were just like, 'that's not cool, man.' So then later I was like 'I love your class, even though you're better at EVERYTHING, especially spanish and math.....'
English- I went to help teachers move stuff. Boring.
So yeah, funniest part of today was science, until we got dissed. Oh, and when I did that really cool jump thing. See, Ellie came out of her religion class so we were like talking and then I'm like 'We should go.' So I jumped up and hit the top of the doorway, and totally fell on the ground, and like everyone in Ellie's class could see, so they were all staring at me! So I like got up and walked down the hallway and Ellie's behind me cracking up. It was wicked funny. But It was the last day of classes, so whoever isn't in my class I'm not going to see almost at all now. It's almost summer....and I can't wait, but I'll miss most of the people from school. Not all of them though :] Science tomorrow. Heard it was wicked hard. Lots of stuff about fungi. Gag me with a spoon.
xoxo

Don't Drink Dr. Pepper

Hahh today was really long...thank god it was Friday! We only had a four day week put it seemed wicked long.
Homeroom-Ellie was really mean again today. Hmph. We got in a tiff again. She's so mean to me this week.
Computer-ANOTHER FIRE DRILL! AHHHHH! I think we were pretty good. I stole Greta's headband. It looked pretty bangin on me. But then she took it back. Ellie's class kept giving us dirty looks. Again. They're so mean sometimes!
Science-We dissected lilies. Pretty fun. Loved it. I took Ashley's and Lizzie's flowers and put them in my pony tail! It looked pretty rad. Then Laura had flower petals in her hair and she put some in Greta's hair too and they looked amazing. But the actual dissection part was actually fun. Loved how Laura was like 'Shut up Alana!' When I clarified that the teacher was talking about the flower and not her and Greta.
Lunch-I honestly don't remember anything. No lie. Hm...I wonder.....
English-Went to the library with some amazing people. Amy showed all of us her house. Again. Megan did her word search. When we got back to class we worked on our english plays. Laura subbed in for Elizah for a little while, because she and Hannah are out again.
Spanish-WE ♥ DIAPERS! OHEMGEE SO FUNNY! Senora wore a diaper on her head, and Emily did too. [Once Hayley emails me the picture, I'll post it.] Worked on our spanish plays. Mercy Spice and Christian Holiano are in ours. Yeahhhh.
After school-Don't you dare drink Dr. Pepper! Mariana says it's really bad for you. Like, really. No lie. Hmmmm fun though. Ellie and I saw Johnathan and I told him I was a ninja and that I did karate. [Apparently, he does too.]
Fun day. :]
xoxo
And look at think pretty picture Laura made me of Jas! [Dad says he's probably bringing her Saturday, so if you live near me and want to see her call me and maybee we can make it work.]

Twice !

Hahahaa today was so random. I don't remember doing much....
Homeroom- Ellie is such a twit. She's really mean to me. But, on the bright side, Taylor makes a lovely psychiatrist. But, on the bad side, another lizard died, but on the good side, Hannah isn't sick anymore! But...Elizah is, so that's not good.
Study- Boring as usual. Went to the library. Just kinda sat in the window in front of the religious books. We didn't even need to go, but we do anyway because study just gets soooooo boring! And I need to go for little walks every once in a while, or else I'll get restless. But I got that bear Abby gave me back! [Mercy Spice's cousin.] I think his name is Christian Holiano. But I don't know yet. [Yes, Laura came up with that too. Thinking outside the box!!]
History- Megan and Rosa presented their projects and then we watched a video while working on our maps. Not too exciting. Oh wait! We had a fire drill. So we're standing there and Laura's like 'Where's our class?' and Lizzie's like 'They're not here.' So Lizzie like raises her hand really high and shes like 'WE'RE LOST!' It was sooo funny. So what really happened was half of our class went to the front of the building, half went in front of the gym [that would be our group], and only Julia went to the right place because the teachers told her where to go, because she's on crutches. So then we get yelled at because apparently, we were supposed to go behind the gym. Oh, well. We were close enough, and no one died, so who cares?
Lunch- Can't she ever buy her own lunch? Oh, and then Greta has to go and talk about Buffy....I didn't need to hear that, not while eating. Or at all.....
Religion- Hayley prayed for Jazzy! Yay! [I would like today thank you to all the people who prayed for her last class, ie, Edy, Lizzie, and Amy.] Sister P keeps snubbing Laura! I felt really bad. Abbey threw her pen at me. Rudely, I would like to point out. We still didn't finish Sandlot. But we're pretty close to the end, I think. A bunch of us were sitting on the floor and I can hear Amanda behind me and shes like 'Aww, that dog is so cute!!' And I'm like 'Amanda, he's supposed to be vicious.' Amy did a lovely mime thing in front of the class after she got a tan from standing in front of the window.
Math- Some probability worksheet. Boring. BUT WAIT! We have another fire drill! And the class manages to stay together this time! So we go to the back of the gym, all proud of ourselves acting all hyper in front of the little kids, like normal. But then we're like 'Wait. Where are the teachers?' So we go back inside and the teacher is all 'You guys were wonderful!' So I'm like 'Were we in the wrong place?' And she's like 'Yeah, you were supposed to be in front of the gym' So everyones like 'ARE YOU SERIOUS?' Because we had gotten yelled at for going in the front! It was quite funny.
But other that that?? Nothing much. Probably a lot of other stuff happened that I can't remember.

Todayyy

So I've been at D&d's all day.

Nothing has happened.

It's raining.

It rains a lot here.

Lots of rain.

Anyway, we [That's me and Mercy Spice, thank you very much, Bob] will update later if anything happens.

<333

Are you sure this a hotel and not a jail?

Okay, so I'm back from Italy. Well, I was yesterday, but I was too tired to wrote anything. I kept falling asleep when we were watching Bones. But seriously, Italy was ah-may-zing!! Love love loved it. [And, just for the record, I didn't loose Mercy Spice.]
Saturday: We had to drive to school and leave all our cars there [since it was a school trip]. Then we got on the bus an drove to the airport and we're all like, way hyper. Most of the people were flying into Germany and then Italy [split flight], but some of the people were flying into Ireland, so we split up. When we got on the plane I got to sit next to Hannah and Elizah, and we all watched Enchanted on our cool little movie screens. The first flight was 8 HOURS LONG. [How's that for the longest I've sat still, Lizzie?] But we got up like an hour before the flight was over to use the loo, as we say in Britain. There were all there people there and the flight attendant told us we weren't allowed and some lady behind us was like "Huh, I wonder why?" So I convinced her it was a bar.
Sunday, I guess: Then we switched flights and I slept through some of the second one and we were all messed up because of the whole 'time change' thing. We waited on the bus and had some fun with Hayley's phrase book. After the Ireland people found us we started to go around Rome. Everyone fell asleep in the bus ride as the tour guide was explaining things because we were all so tired. We went to a really pretty square the first day and then to the Pantheon. We also went to the Spanish Steps where Megan got some fierce sunglasses and Miranda stole a rose. [Don't worry she gave it back.] Then we drove to this hotel with this gorgeous view but absolutely no heat at all. Hannah, Elizah and I were freezing. Also , the shower didn't drain for like, 10 minutes. We had dinner at this fahbulous restaurant with this ah-may-zing playground. It had the coolest spinny thing. It could fit six people and you hold onto the middle and spin it around. If you go fast enough, you scream, and when you get off your stomach feels sick and you want to 'park a custard.'
Monday, somewhat adjusted to the time zone: We went to Vatican City!! So shin diddy. Ohmigawd it was so ah-may-zing! The Pope wasn't there but that's okay. Mercy found it quite inspiring. It was still really cool. We got to see the Sistine Chapel, and they are SO uptight there! You can't stand still, you can't talk, and you can't take pictures. I get that last one though. Then we drove to a ceramics factory/food store thing on our way to the hotel in Assisi, and I know, you're thinking boring, and to be honest, we were too, but they had all kinda of food samples. The chocolate was ah-may-zing, and the olive oil and sauce was really good too. Katie somehow managed to sample the liqueur and apparently that was good too. Then, outside they had a huge dumpster and said we could keep anything we found in it. So, you guessed it, we went dumpster diving. It was really...well lets just say we'll be better off if it doesn't make the yearbook. Then we got to our hotel, and it was...kinda dark. There were 4 beds so Macy stayed with us that night.
Tuesday!: Today we went on a walking tour of Perugia and it was really pretty. There was a really cool view of the town and all these artists sketching it. Laura has amazing camera skills and could be a professional photographer. And there were amazing stores, so of course we went shopping. Then we drove back to Assisi and we went on a tour there too. We also went to the Church of Saint Francis of Assisi, when he was buried. They also had really cool shops, so we went shopping there too. Then we went out to dinner which was so much fun, ohmigawd. We gave each other some new nicknames.
Katie-Zachariah
Elizah- Zeppy Allen [Led Zeppelin+Ethan Allen]
Mary-Old Jeremiah
Hayley- Grandma Ethel [She's a bit out there. Never should have let her near me.]
Hannah-Clyde
Me- Bonnie [Clyde and I rob banks]
We also found out about Katie's soon-to-be-husband, William Nitwit. He is ah-may-zing. He flips his hair and his job is looking good for Katie. I am her maid of honor and i'm wearing my 'I ♥ the Vatican' shirt over a yellow dress to her wedding.
After dinner we went back to the hotel in Assisi and Hannah left to curl her hair at midnight....
Wednesday already?: I wake up to the wake-up call. Elizah does not. Elizah could sleep though anything. I realize that I slept with my glasses on. And that the light is on. And they I'm still wearing my hoodie. All of a sudden I hear knocking on the door so I wake Elizah up and I answer it. And it's Hannah with her Dad. It turns out Elizah and I fell asleep so she couldn't get back in, because she didn't take the key, and the doors lock automatically. I felt bad, but Elizah laughed. ANYWAY, today we drove to Florence and saw lots of lovely statues. Most of which needed clothes. Badly. Then we walked around and visited a really really big church. When we got to our hotel that night we weren't happy about the fact that we were on the third floor and there were no elevators. It was my favorite room though,but the only problem was there were SO MANY MOSQITOES. We got bit so much. It was really bad.
Thursday...: Hmmmm Thursday! We drove out to Siena and had a lovely tour. We went into a huge church that had green and white stripes like a candy cane. It was so big, for real. Then we went to lunch and I went shopping with Hannah and Elizah. Then we drove back to the hotel and curled Laura's hair. We had quite a lovely time.
Friday ♥: Back to Rome! On the way to Rome we stopped to see David. He was nice. You know. Macy kept getting yelled at for taking pictures because they weren't allowed. Then we drove drove drove to see the Colosseum! We didn't go it because it was going to be like, an 80 minute thing, so we went with Laura and her Mum to see the Trevi fountain, and we only threw ONE coin in. Hehe. Then we went to meet our group at a pizza place where we met lots of multi-lingual people. They were all quite nice. Then we went to the Trevi fountain again, but with our whole group this time. The funniest thing happened on the way over there. They have all these people selling stuff, like roses, for money. All of a sudden one of them pops out in front of me and shoves the rose in my face and is like 'Ahhhhh!' We all stopped and started laughing so hard!! After that we stopped for gelato [gelato in Italy is soooo good] and went to our hotel. Our hotel had like, bars over the windows. It looks like a jail. It was near a store called Bimbo Planet. Katie shops there. Since we were staying with Megan and Miranda that night we had a 'juite' [jail+suite]. It was normal size with two extra beds shoved in. Suprisingly, we went to bed relatively early.
Saturday, 3 AM: No, I'm not lying. The people flying into Germany had to get up at 3AM. We weren't all there, as Katay showed by singling this lovely song:
"It's a moooooon. And it's shinnnnnnnny. And it's a moooooooooon. And it's shinnnnnnnnnnnny."
[Repeat 50 times.]
So we get on the short flight, and I'm like out. I fell asleep so fast. Then we went on the 8 hour flight and I watched Juno, which was ah-may-zingly fierce. Then Katay made me watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show but it was weird so i started watching National treasure 2. Anyway, I got bored with that too, so I just read and stuff.
Then we got on the bus so drive back to school where the cars where and I'm like 'It's 9 at home and everyone made fun of me. Then we're driving by the state house and Megan goes 'Is that the White House?'[ It was so funny because then we started randomly going 'Ohmigosh, is that the Colosseum?' And other random landmarks. Megan also left this lovely note on my iPod:
Right now we're driving home from Italy which was quite interesting, I must say. There are too many things to list that we did. So Mercy Spice had a mouthful of things to say about the trip. She even used the bidet [Pronounced baday, by the way] and had a fun time. Remember the beautiful drawing on out way hahahahahahahaha! I'm gonna miss the old Italiano playgroundo buy you know I'm glad to be home with English people. We now have a ton of stuff to talk about in science. Ohh wait, WE GOT MOVED! Hmm that's not nifty...I have to pee.
TMI Megan. Love that though. Um, no pictures because my camera is out of battery and I think I lost the charger, but when if finally gets working I'll put them up. Loved Italy, bottom line. It was gorgeous. But that's all for now.
xoxoXO missed you all♥

Today 4 You [Tomorrow for Me!!]

I was feeling very inspired by Rent.
Today was really, really fun-boring.
Dramafest was so awesome!!
Got a pretty slippy.
Mercy Spice was stolen and hurt many times.
[Ellie is not an idiot.] [Well, maybe a little....no just kidding, love her.]
Party now for Mom.
Italy tomorrow with some ah-may-zing people.
[Laura, Hannah, Elizah, Megan, Macy, Hayley, Katie. i think that's it??]
xoxo