i'm

i'm numbing myself for when
something really bad happens
because if i'm numb it won't hurt as bad
i'm frustrated because i think
that i think too much too much into this
i'm trying to love you as much as possible
hoping that nothing like that ever happens again
i would absolutely die
i'm breaking down everything that happens
trying to remember it if it's good
and trying to let go of it if it's not
i'm wondering why
it's hard to get along
when it happened so easily before
i'm confused to how these things
can end so fast
and how one sided they can be
i'm wondering what happened
and why things are so difficult
i'm wondering why 8 hours of sleep
really makes a difference to how things go
because sometimes it's fine
but one little thing changes it
i'm trying to make this work
if one word is just not good enough
then how about four?
i love you guys