The Whole Thing

Here's the whole thing, start to finish. Well, maybe not everything, but the important stuff.
When we went to look at all the dogs I was little. Like, 6 or 7. I kept picking up guys by accident. I was so excited, you wouldn't even believe it, because this was going to be my dog. My dog that I was going to have from when she was a puppy. So we had driven like hours to this breeder with these golden retrievers and we got to meet all the puppies mom and grandma. We finally decided on a gorgeous little girl, but we couldn't take her yet because she wasn't old enough. So we came back, and on the ride home she kept wanting to come in the back seat with me and Katie. She was absolutely ahdorable.

When Cara was still small, like under a year old, she used to love laying under the little ledges from the cabinets in the kitchen. She would stick out a bit, and once or twice I may have tripped over her by accident [no surprise there], but she didn't care. She loved loved laying there, especially if Debbie was cooking and she dropped something, because she could just run over and scoop it up.
If I tried to typed every little thing I remember about Cara this post would take a really long time. If I did type everything about her and you decided to read the whole thing, you would be sitting at your computer for a week. So I'll try and keep this short.
When Cara was 3, she was diagnosed with cancer, lymphoma. She started going to Angell, and even though I wish she never had to go, I'm glad we had such a good hospital to take her to. Everyone there loved her and she was always good for treatments. She went into remission twice, but the cancer kept coming back. She was really doing great until 3 days before Christmas last year. She started shaking and she was mopey, and not herself at all. We took her to Angell and they kept her over night, and Dad and I went to visit her the next day. She was doing so good, and we just sat there for like half an hour with her in her little area. And I've got to tell you, even though she was doing better, it's scary seeing someone you love connected to an IV. I know it doesn't hurt [I've had one] but it's scary. So I want back home that night. The next night, it's Christmas Eve. Mom, Dave and I were almost ready to go to Auntie Sue's house, when Dad calls. And Cara has a tumor. And we're going to have to put her to sleep. Ha asks if I want them to wait until I can see her, and I'm like, 'Not if she's going to be in pain.' So that's it. I didn't want her to be kept waiting on me if she was going to be in pain. I really, really loved her, more than you would ever know, but I really think she knew that.
I've done a lot of crying over Cara, more than I thought I would. Most of you reading this have probably never seen me really cry, and trust me, you probably don't want to.
One thing that was really hard was going to Dad's and not having a dog there. I had been coming here to see her 5 years and it's just not the same. It was hard seeing that one Christmas present under the tree when all the other ones had been opened. It was hard getting up in the morning and not having her come say hello. It was even hard not seeing her and Blizz fight over the couch.
Now that we're going to be getting a new dog soon, I'm really happy, but I'm scared too. [I cried in the car when Dad told me.] I don't want that all to happen again. And I know that what ever dog we're going to get could never replace Cara, but I don't think we're looking to replace her, I think we're just looking for a dog. Somebody to hug, somebody to have greet you in the morning, somebody that you have to house-train all over again. And you know what?? I absolutely can't wait.
xoxoXO