One Year.

One year.
Three hundred and sixty five days.
Five hundred, twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes.
I love you so much.
And I miss you more than words could ever show.
Merry Christmas.

Or Happy Hannukah.

Whichever one you'd rather celebrate.
[Regardless of your religion.]
iloveyou.
xoxoxo

Jasmine♥

Okay, so as you obviously know, I got my puppy this weekend.
Her name is Jasmine. [Aka, Jas or Jazzy.]
One word: gorgeous.
She is seriously too cute. She's really soft. She's smart too! She knows to go in her crate when she wants to sleep and that if she pees and poops outside she'll get a treat. She chews on your shoelaces and your pants, and I had to wear my hair up all weekend because she would chew on that too. She whines when you put her in her crate, and sometimes doesn't sleep through the night. She loves being picked up and looking out the window in the car. She rolls in the grass and gets all dirty. She likes shade, she steps in her water when she's drinking it, and she can't finish a whole walk without being picked up. She chews on the gate, and the undersides on the kitchen cabinets. She lies under the kitchen cabinets, all hunched up, like Cara used to. She chews on Honey's fur, and bites her legs, and Honey couldn't care less. She chews on an empty Coke bottle. She's noticed Blizz, but hasn't really met her. She's like a little kid. She eats, plays for half an hour, then falls asleep.
I saved her from being sprayed by a skunk. When we take her for walks every one's all 'OHEMGEE! She's so cute!' People think she looks like the puppy in that K9 Advantix commercial. [What do you think?]

I couldn't love her more. I deff can't wait until people can meet her. From school, and everything. Because they would love her. Who wouldn't?
xoxoXO

147

'You always said how lucky you were that we were all friends. But it was us, baby, who were the lucky ones.' -Maureen Johnson, Rent

Love you.
xoxo

!!!!!

So Dad just sent me this e-mail about a new breeder of goldens!! [That's what we always called Cara, because she didn't retrieve anything.] There are 16 puppies, twice the normal amount, 6 boys and 10 girls. We're going to see them on Saturday, we hope. So so exited!! Link here. They are so adorable!!
xoxo

The Whole Thing

Here's the whole thing, start to finish. Well, maybe not everything, but the important stuff.
When we went to look at all the dogs I was little. Like, 6 or 7. I kept picking up guys by accident. I was so excited, you wouldn't even believe it, because this was going to be my dog. My dog that I was going to have from when she was a puppy. So we had driven like hours to this breeder with these golden retrievers and we got to meet all the puppies mom and grandma. We finally decided on a gorgeous little girl, but we couldn't take her yet because she wasn't old enough. So we came back, and on the ride home she kept wanting to come in the back seat with me and Katie. She was absolutely ahdorable.

When Cara was still small, like under a year old, she used to love laying under the little ledges from the cabinets in the kitchen. She would stick out a bit, and once or twice I may have tripped over her by accident [no surprise there], but she didn't care. She loved loved laying there, especially if Debbie was cooking and she dropped something, because she could just run over and scoop it up.
If I tried to typed every little thing I remember about Cara this post would take a really long time. If I did type everything about her and you decided to read the whole thing, you would be sitting at your computer for a week. So I'll try and keep this short.
When Cara was 3, she was diagnosed with cancer, lymphoma. She started going to Angell, and even though I wish she never had to go, I'm glad we had such a good hospital to take her to. Everyone there loved her and she was always good for treatments. She went into remission twice, but the cancer kept coming back. She was really doing great until 3 days before Christmas last year. She started shaking and she was mopey, and not herself at all. We took her to Angell and they kept her over night, and Dad and I went to visit her the next day. She was doing so good, and we just sat there for like half an hour with her in her little area. And I've got to tell you, even though she was doing better, it's scary seeing someone you love connected to an IV. I know it doesn't hurt [I've had one] but it's scary. So I want back home that night. The next night, it's Christmas Eve. Mom, Dave and I were almost ready to go to Auntie Sue's house, when Dad calls. And Cara has a tumor. And we're going to have to put her to sleep. Ha asks if I want them to wait until I can see her, and I'm like, 'Not if she's going to be in pain.' So that's it. I didn't want her to be kept waiting on me if she was going to be in pain. I really, really loved her, more than you would ever know, but I really think she knew that.
I've done a lot of crying over Cara, more than I thought I would. Most of you reading this have probably never seen me really cry, and trust me, you probably don't want to.
One thing that was really hard was going to Dad's and not having a dog there. I had been coming here to see her 5 years and it's just not the same. It was hard seeing that one Christmas present under the tree when all the other ones had been opened. It was hard getting up in the morning and not having her come say hello. It was even hard not seeing her and Blizz fight over the couch.
Now that we're going to be getting a new dog soon, I'm really happy, but I'm scared too. [I cried in the car when Dad told me.] I don't want that all to happen again. And I know that what ever dog we're going to get could never replace Cara, but I don't think we're looking to replace her, I think we're just looking for a dog. Somebody to hug, somebody to have greet you in the morning, somebody that you have to house-train all over again. And you know what?? I absolutely can't wait.
xoxoXO

I've just got to say...

When I saw that card today
And there were just three names
And not four
It hurt
And I've got to admit
That I still love you
So much more
Than words could
Ever
Say

One of those days again...

Where I'll realize something, and it makes me horribly depressed/sad/angry/happy. And lucky me, today it was sad. And I seriously can't comprehend the fact. I think it's just now starting to sink in.
I miss you.
40 days.

'I've seen love die way to many times when it deserved to be alive...'

Christmas Day

Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate.

It's the 100th post of this blog!
Yay!!
As far as I'm concerned, this is The. Worst. Christmas. Ever.
So, I love you all.
So, so, so much.
You don't even know.
Hope your Christmas is better than mine.
xoxo

Caramel♥

Okay, so Cara had to go to the hospital Saturday, because she was shaking, and not acting like herself at all. So we took her over to Angell and they had her stay overnight with an IV. Dad and I went to visit her today and she seemed better but they wanted her to stay over again so she can take some sort of x-ray tomorrow. She's really a lot better than she was Saturday night, then she was really bad. I got really scared because, well, you know, with the cancer you never know what is going to happen. I mean, she's had it for about 2 years now, and she has done really great but still...[She usually looks a lot perkier. This is her Saturday afternoon.]

Hoping she gets better,
xoxoxox

Z10fd=love

Okay, so there's this super cute camera that i want for my birthday, and that's it!!!^ Isn't it adorable? Just look at it! Yeah, it is. I know. So, really hoping I get it. I dunno what color to get though. But, you know you love it, right??
Oh, my god. I was with Dad this weekend, and you know how Cara has lymphoma? It's cancer of the lymph nodes. (Cara's my dog, by the way, she's a golden retriever, and I love her to death.) So, she was in the hospital overnight on Slaughterday, I think, because her blood count was too low to get chemo. So she had to stay overnight and get an IV and all, so when I was with dad. there was a section on her right leg that was shaved to get the IV in, and for some reason, that scared me so bad. Not like Oh! Look at me I'm Ann Darrow/Fay Wray and King Kong is rampaging towards me, I think I'll scream my head off scared, but really scared, of what could happen to her. I mean, we've had her since I was six, but it seems like forever. Forever in a good way. God, I don't know what I would do without her. I cried so hard when dad told me she had cancer, I think it was 2 years ago. I would miss her so bad. I'll update this with a pic of her later.
ohmigod, I'm like, crying now. crap.
gotta go byee! xoxoxox
oh, and by the way
maggiemaggiemaggiemaggiemaggiemaggiemaggiemaggie

Hayyy

The name's Alana.
And [pshhhh, let's face it] I'm amazing.
3 pets.
4 parents.
And...that's all you need to know [for now].